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巴黎雷歐《情緒管理十二講》第七講 情緒化，恰恰是因?yàn)槿狈Ω行?[原創(chuàng)]

第七講 情緒化，恰恰是因?yàn)槿狈Ω行?/strong>

你有沒(méi)有問(wèn)過(guò)自己這個(gè)問(wèn)題：為什么一些最憂(yōu)郁的人堅(jiān)信他們是完全理性的？為什么你身邊的瘋子會(huì)再回到你身邊，因?yàn)樵趲滋烨八麄兿癖ǖ幕鹕揭粯影涯愫莺莸亍按颉绷艘活D，難道什么都沒(méi)發(fā)生過(guò)？

對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，有時(shí)在工作中目睹這類(lèi)事情也是相當(dāng)令人震驚的。看到我的一個(gè)前同事在電話(huà)里辱罵一個(gè)客戶(hù)，這真是讓人大開(kāi)眼界，然后自發(fā)地去見(jiàn)她的上司，抗議她被客戶(hù)濫用，并堅(jiān)信她掌握了真相。

為了理解這些荒誕場(chǎng)面背后的原因，我們將分析人類(lèi)心理的結(jié)構(gòu)，找出什么是導(dǎo)致這種瘋狂的原因。

在我們的心理中，有三個(gè)概念在不斷地起作用：意識(shí)（自我）、特殊情緒（無(wú)意識(shí)的爆發(fā)）和一般情緒（通常的反應(yīng)）。它們看起來(lái)比實(shí)際復(fù)雜得多，但它們是簡(jiǎn)單的概念。讓我用簡(jiǎn)短的方式來(lái)討論每一個(gè)問(wèn)題。

每個(gè)人都有意識(shí)或自我。它是一個(gè)單位，既能感知自身的存在，又能感知周?chē)l(fā)生的事情。在我們所說(shuō)的任何句子中，都有“我”這個(gè)詞。例如，我很好，我看到光明。所以，你可以看到，意識(shí)是邏輯和理性的搖籃。然后，在人類(lèi)心理中有一個(gè)無(wú)意識(shí)的黑暗世界，我們無(wú)法直接進(jìn)入。正是因?yàn)橛辛藬?shù)百萬(wàn)年的評(píng)價(jià)，我們才能應(yīng)付一代代的生存需要。

我們的情緒是我們生存機(jī)制的重要組成部分，是我們從無(wú)意識(shí)到自我的信號(hào)。這種交流的形式是有形的：快速心跳，緩慢上升的體溫，出汗，收緊胃，以及放松肌肉，降低血壓，或是你的胸前有癢的感覺(jué)，就像你為你夢(mèng)寐以求的東西期望很長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間。我們每天在生活中體驗(yàn)到的這些有形的肉體信號(hào)就是我們的情感。他們并沒(méi)有直接傳達(dá)任何的智力意義，而是非常個(gè)人化的。

然后出現(xiàn)了第三個(gè)概念，它與前兩個(gè)概念不同，即情緒傳遞。最大的特征是，情緒它同時(shí)是個(gè)人和社會(huì)的。這個(gè)概念仍然很簡(jiǎn)單：自我（意識(shí)）對(duì)無(wú)意識(shí)信號(hào)（空虛）的通常反應(yīng)。最重要的是，它可以被圍繞這個(gè)主題的其他意識(shí)所感知。是的，這是有趣的地方。一個(gè)人的情緒可以被其他人積極有效地被動(dòng)地感知。這就是為什么我們說(shuō)情緒是有感染力的。

現(xiàn)在，我們更清楚地看到，情緒化的人，其概念與情緒無(wú)關(guān)。情緒化，意味著人的意識(shí)易于歡迎和接受他人的情感。這些來(lái)自暗處的信號(hào)是被不斷地采納和處理的。換句話(huà)說(shuō)，一個(gè)情緒化的人在他的意識(shí)和無(wú)意識(shí)之間有一個(gè)強(qiáng)大的橋梁。

相反，對(duì)于一個(gè)根本沒(méi)有情緒化的人來(lái)說(shuō)，他的無(wú)意識(shí)可能與自我意識(shí)隔絕了。黑暗海洋的信號(hào)根本不影響他的意識(shí)，更不用說(shuō)適當(dāng)?shù)姆磻?yīng)了。在這種情況下，問(wèn)題是顯而易見(jiàn)的。

經(jīng)過(guò)數(shù)百萬(wàn)年的進(jìn)化，我們的無(wú)意識(shí)非常強(qiáng)烈，它們?nèi)旌蚬ぷ�，以保持警覺(jué)和活力。當(dāng)意識(shí)忽略了更深層次發(fā)出的沖擊信號(hào)時(shí)，并不意味著意識(shí)處于控制之中。黑暗的力量會(huì)很快接管并打破局面（在我們現(xiàn)代生活方式中經(jīng)常以不恰當(dāng)?shù)姆绞剑?/p>

在這種情況下，一個(gè)人實(shí)際上是他自己情感的奴隸。他的情緒不會(huì)被意識(shí)所引導(dǎo)，也不會(huì)軟化，而是朝著每個(gè)方向自由飛濺。這樣做的時(shí)候，他的大腦真的在疑惑：最好的部分是什么？為什么每個(gè)人都在生我的氣？他們有什么問(wèn)題？

One is extremely moody because he is NOT emotional

Have you ever asked yourself this question: why some of the moodiest people believe firmly that they are perfectly rational? Why your borderline lunatic relative could come back to you as nothing has happened after they’ve bashed you very inappropriately like an exploding volcano a couple of days before?

It is also quite shocking for me to witness this sometime ago at work. It was an eye opener to watch one of my ex-colleague abuse a client on the phone, then spontaneously go to her supervisor to protest that she got abused by the client with a firm belief that she holds the truth.

To understand the reason behind these absurd scenes, we shall analyze the structure in human psyche which is responsible for this craziness. There’re 3 concepts that are constantly at work in our psyche: conscious (the self), emotions (outbursts of unconscious), and mood (usual reaction). They look a lot more complicated than they really are, but they are simple concepts. Let me discuss each one in a very brief manner.

For each person, there’s consciousness or self. It is a unit that can both perceive the existence of itself (inward) and what’s happening around itself (outside). It is the word “I” in any sentence we pronounce. For example, I am well; I see light. So, you can see, consciousness is thus the cradle for logic and reason. Then, there’s a dark world of unconsciousness in the human psyche that we are rid of direct access. It is there thanks to millions of years of evaluation to cope with the survival needs of our ancestors. Our emotions, which are a crucial part of our survival mechanisms, are signals from our unconsciousness to the self. The form of this communication is tangible: rushing heart-beats, climbing body temperature, sweating, tightened stomach, as well as loosen muscles, lower blood-pressure, or that itchy feeling in one’s chest right before you reach out for the thing you dreamt about for a long time. These tangible corporal signals we experience each day in life are our emotions. They don’t convey any intellectual meaning by themselves directly, and they are very personal.

Then there comes the third concept which is different than the previous two, the mood. The biggest difference is that mood is at the same time personal and social. The concept is still simple: the usual reaction of the self (consciousness) to the signals of unconsciousness (emptions). Most importantly, it CAN be perceived by other consciousnesses around the subject. Yeah, this is where it gets interesting. Someone’s mood can be actively and passively perceived by other people quite effectively. That is why we say that mood is contagious.

Now, it is clearer for us to see that the concept of someone being emotional has nothing to do with mood. Being emotional simply means that the consciousness of the person is accepting and welcoming his emotions. These signals from the dark side are taken assertively, treated with care and processed by intelligence constantly. In other word, an emotional person has a strong bridge between his consciousness and unconsciousness.

On the contrary, for a person who is not emotional at all, his unconsciousness is probably cut off from his self-awareness. The signals of the dark ocean come and receive no attention from the consciousness at all, let alone proper treatment. The problem is obvious in this case.

After millions of years of evolution, our unconsciousness is extremely strong, they are at work 24/7 to keep us alert and alive. When the consciousness is ignoring the flushing signals sent by the deeper level, it does NOT mean that the consciousness is in control. The dark force would quickly take over and smash the situation (quite often with inappropriate manner in our modern way of life). An individual in this situation is actually a slave of his own emotions. His mood would not be channeled nor softened by the consciousness but splashes freely towards every direction at sight. And the best part? While doing so, his brain is wondering genuinely: why is everyone mad at me? What are their problem?

《情緒管理十二講》

巴黎雷歐 著

原書(shū)名：Paris gold Key（巴黎金鑰匙）

Léo Paris 巴黎雷歐 著

Paris2019

內(nèi)容簡(jiǎn)介

這是一本從非常別致的角度解析情緒管理的著作，是從作者的系列心理學(xué)講座中挑選出來(lái)的。巴黎雷歐（李由、任由之）的系列心理學(xué)講座，在法國(guó)、美國(guó)青年中頗受歡迎，特試譯為中文版本。

巴黎雷歐著有《跨國(guó)公司內(nèi)部談判效益論析》（法文版）《法國(guó)現(xiàn)代書(shū)畫(huà)藝術(shù)評(píng)論》（英文版3卷）和《雷歐帶你認(rèn)識(shí)法國(guó)》《雷歐帶你認(rèn)識(shí)巴黎》等書(shū)籍。

由于巴黎雷歐現(xiàn)系巴黎遠(yuǎn)東文化藝術(shù)協(xié)會(huì)負(fù)責(zé)人，巴黎遠(yuǎn)東藝術(shù)館、巴黎雷歐珍寶館和多種媒體及版權(quán)交易機(jī)構(gòu)負(fù)責(zé)人，非常繁忙，所以此譯本尚未得巴黎雷歐先生審閱，特此說(shuō)明。

情緒管理十二講LéoParis –巴黎雷歐 目錄

（中文譯本未經(jīng)巴黎雷歐審閱）

第一講 輕松成功，有秘訣嗎？

第二講 給你的“自律”放個(gè)假

第三講 決策，可能是偽裝的逃避

第四講 成功的關(guān)鍵在于效率

第五講 毒性人格，為何不能正常詮釋

第六講 情感脫節(jié)，一個(gè)危險(xiǎn)的癥狀

第七講 情緒化，恰恰是因?yàn)槿狈Ω行?/p>

第八講 強(qiáng)烈感覺(jué)與自我意識(shí)

第九講 治愈厭倦，參與周?chē)沫h(huán)境

第十講 不要讓你喜歡的東西殺死你

第十一講 社交障礙治療——消除隔離

第十二講 樂(lè)趣和成功之間的差距

Paris gold Key

巴黎金鑰匙

Léo Paris

Catalog

Catalog

Key to success with ease

Give your poor self-discipline a break

Decision-making, a highly disguised escape

Key to success with efficiency

Toxic personality, why some people are impossible to reason with

Disconnected of one’s emotion, the real symptoms

One is extremely moody because he is NOT emotional

Open mindedness and self-awareness

Cure to boredom, engage the environment around you

DON’T find something that you love and let it kill you

Social accessibility, one major cure for social isolation

The gap between having fun and being successful

著者簡(jiǎn)介

巴黎雷歐（Léo Paris），曾用名李由，任由之，巴黎大學(xué)國(guó)際經(jīng)濟(jì)研究生畢業(yè)，曾任通用電氣公司歐亞總部經(jīng)理及新浪歐洲財(cái)經(jīng)特邀記者，著有《晨曦集》《在成長(zhǎng)》《跨國(guó)公司內(nèi)部談判》（法）《情緒管理十二講》（法）《遠(yuǎn)東文化藝術(shù)》（法）《巴黎雷歐藝術(shù)評(píng)論》（法，3卷）《簡(jiǎn)明國(guó)際商務(wù)》（考研輔導(dǎo)用書(shū)）《國(guó)際談判哲學(xué)》（法）《國(guó)際談判實(shí)務(wù)》（華）等。

巴黎雷歐