走近一個人的時候，要慢一點，以免看不清；離開一個人的時候，要快一點，以免舍不得。

人生中最遺憾的事，往往不是沒有得到，而是得到的時候沒看清。我有個朋友，用了三年時間才明白這個道理。她說起來的時候，眼神里還帶著那種后知后覺的無奈。走得太快，看不清一個人。她和前任在一起五年。剛在一起的時候，她就像所有熱戀中的女孩一樣，恨不得一步并作兩步走。三個月就同居了，六個月就談婚論嫁，一年就開始計劃人生的每一個細(xì)節(jié)。那時候她覺得愛情就是這樣——越快越好，越深入越好。但在第四年的時候，她開始看清了。那些她曾經(jīng)忽視的小細(xì)節(jié)，突然變得格外扎眼。他在你難過的時候，習(xí)慣性地玩手機；他說的"改正"，從來沒有變成過行動；他對你的家人，始終保持著客套的距離。這些東西，如果她能早點發(fā)現(xiàn)，也許就不會走到分手這一步。問題是，她當(dāng)時被愛情沖昏了頭腦，走得太快，眼睛只看得到前方。就像在高速公路上開車，速度越快，兩邊的風(fēng)景就越模糊。

慢下來，才能看清人心。后來我問她，如果重新來過，會怎么做。她說想了很久，最后的答案是："我會等待。等待到真正了解他。"這句話我記得很清楚。因為了解一個人，真的需要時間。不是一個月兩個月，而是一年兩年。要看他在你生病的時候怎么做，在你失敗的時候怎么說，在你成功的時候是開心還是嫉妒。要看他和父母相處的方式，因為那反映了他對待親密關(guān)系的態(tài)度。要觀察他如何對待陌生人，因為那能看出他的修養(yǎng)是真實還是偽裝。要經(jīng)歷四季，一起度過平淡的日子，才能真正明白對方是什么樣的人。我們太容易被一個人的優(yōu)點吸引，卻忽視了缺點。一個人再優(yōu)秀，如果自私、不負(fù)責(zé)任、容易放棄，那所有的優(yōu)秀都只是表面。反過來，一個再平凡的人，如果有擔(dān)當(dāng)、有溫度、能陪伴，這份平凡就閃閃發(fā)光。

但沒有看清，也不值得繼續(xù)。故事的另一面是，有些時候，我們看清了，才意識到該離開。而離開的時候，最大的敵人，往往是舍不得。那個朋友最終選擇了分手。決定的時候，她哭了整整一晚上。不是因為沒有愛，而是因為有愛，所以舍不得。五年的時光，五年的陪伴，五年的回憶，怎么舍得一下子放下？我見過太多人，明知道這段關(guān)系不適合自己，卻始終沒有勇氣離開。他們一遍遍告訴自己："也許他會改變，也許我理解錯了，也許再堅持一下就會好。"最后的結(jié)果，就是把自己也變成了一個可憐的人——既失去了最好的年紀(jì)，也沒有等來改變。

離開一個人的時候，需要快一點。不是說要冷酷無情，而是說要果斷。因為每多拖一天，你就多浪費一天。每多留一秒鐘，你就多給了對方一個改變主意的理由。而最殘酷的是，你等的改變往往永遠(yuǎn)不會來。

舍不得，是一種奢侈。有個心理學(xué)的說法，叫做"沉沒成本謬誤"。簡單說，就是你已經(jīng)投入了太多，所以不想承認(rèn)這一切都白費了。舍不得，本質(zhì)上是一種對過去的執(zhí)念。但問題在于，你用舍不得去延長一段不該繼續(xù)的關(guān)系，最終舍不得的，其實是自己的人生。我們都有過這樣的時刻——明知道要離開，卻在門口反復(fù)站了很久。心里明白，但身體不配合。理性告訴你該走，感情卻拽著你往回拉。這時候，你需要做的，就是快速地做出決定，然后堅定地執(zhí)行。不要給自己反悔的機會，不要在寒夜里看著對方的頭像反復(fù)編輯信息。該說的話，一次說完。該離開的時候，就徹底離開。

人生其實就是這樣的平衡。走近的時候慢一點，是為了不讓自己被傷害。生活中充滿了看似完美但暗藏危險的人。他們或許很會說話，或許很會制造浪漫，但如果你足夠慢，就能察覺到那份虛偽。慢下來，給自己思考的時間。問問自己：這個人是真的愛我嗎？還是只是需要我？他在不開心的時候，是靠近我還是遠(yuǎn)離我？他和我的價值觀是否一致？這些問題，不是非黑即白的，但足以讓你看清一些東西。離開的時候快一點，是為了不讓自己被消耗。因為舍不得，往往就陷入了更大的痛苦。那些糾纏、那些反復(fù)、那些破鏡重圓后又破裂，所有這一切，都在一點一點地吞噬你的生命力。有時候，最好的愛自己的方式，就是狠心地放下。

http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/87735.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/06337.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/35970.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/08763.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/35237.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/19494.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/40221.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/04474.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/35493.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/02557.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/33093.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/54762.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/23344.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/66979.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/94625.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/02975.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/32625.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/66574.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/66975.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/71703.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/02647.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/38389.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/92183.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/23944.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/31522.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/35417.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/59680.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/71758.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/86419.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/01386.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/59740.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/31765.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/21904.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/76217.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/74105.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/11226.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/43880.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/25724.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/93826.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/75636.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/31931.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/10706.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/80081.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/67416.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/73751.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/77982.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/04355.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/02643.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/50103.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/39159.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/66753.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/07532.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/07217.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/86835.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/35346.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/37281.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/52644.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/17394.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/87868.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.com/gnews/59446.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/02720.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/71657.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/98190.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/16903.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/76224.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/41020.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/58114.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/45407.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/10502.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/46710.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/26494.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/59172.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/98956.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/10499.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/72619.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/39743.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/53522.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/22033.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/34344.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/07318.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/94879.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/36582.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/96251.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/69691.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/70309.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/69425.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/55302.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/78744.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/44690.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/45103.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/13834.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/97126.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/57203.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/09088.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/40567.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/59111.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/54910.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/81511.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/76835.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/53065.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/76414.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/98932.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/21783.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/83681.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/84802.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/85036.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/92754.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/05785.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/45346.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/02828.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/76786.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/94381.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/87474.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/45012.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/88512.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/73863.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/45674.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/04421.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/08420.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.cn/gnews/37974.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/69629.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/74298.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/88854.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/58318.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/34774.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/18279.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/00676.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/66432.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/61679.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/41479.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/74488.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/06005.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/97953.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/57611.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/98516.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/65894.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/07124.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/16641.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/49607.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/24802.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/64317.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/31189.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/43203.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/03262.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/63764.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/37496.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/23023.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/34766.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/41548.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/44042.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/41796.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/62087.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/24684.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/92083.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/52920.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/57854.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/31563.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/04271.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/12850.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/25420.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/72391.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/34426.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/75631.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/17284.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/34354.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/47173.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/73631.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/03378.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/31330.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/19935.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/89322.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/50335.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/88476.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/15125.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/23468.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/61016.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/01172.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/67546.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/77062.shtml
http://3g.qiqizhixing.top/gnews/74296.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/14232.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/34234.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/75641.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/70362.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/32952.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/40124.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/98439.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/85618.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/95073.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/67225.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/88142.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/00157.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/92827.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/31426.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/79833.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/67717.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/78946.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/72326.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/35360.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/02739.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/87513.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/07010.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/24898.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/87366.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/25204.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/67468.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/91811.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/27538.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/68972.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/43026.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/21941.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/67024.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/96681.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/25843.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/28442.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/69342.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/55411.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/76599.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/37367.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/85584.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/47551.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/27667.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/78559.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/46043.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/65113.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/73938.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/57899.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/24260.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/48013.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/94872.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/50144.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/84139.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/15890.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/04249.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/67409.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/58738.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/07112.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/29773.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/66178.shtml
http://3g.msi.cn/gnews/12749.shtml

最后的話：我見過很多分手后的人，他們都說過同一句話："早知道會這樣，就不該那么快在一起。"但我也見過很多堅持太久的人，他們說："早知道會這樣，就不該那么舍不得。"遺憾這東西，總是如影隨形。但如果你能在走近的時候足夠謹(jǐn)慎，在離開的時候足夠果斷，至少能把遺憾降到最低。這不是冷漠，而是智慧。是在尊重愛情的同時，也尊重自己。是在享受關(guān)系的同時，也保護(hù)自己。下一段感情來臨的時候，不妨試試這種節(jié)奏：走近時慢一點。