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《情緒管理十二講》第一講 輕松成功，有秘訣嗎？[原創(chuàng)]

第一講 輕松成功，有秘訣嗎？

當(dāng)我們想到成功的時(shí)候，我們往往把重點(diǎn)放在努力工作、堅(jiān)持不懈、勇氣、紀(jì)律等方面。總之，這些都是令人欽佩的性格特征，但沒有一種落實(shí)起來是令人愉快的，實(shí)際上。

那么，有沒有什么或任何技術(shù)可以使這個(gè)艱苦的過程變成一個(gè)更流暢、更愉快的旅程？答案當(dāng)然是肯定的。第一個(gè)關(guān)鍵是幫助自己改變自我的態(tài)度，就是實(shí)現(xiàn)優(yōu)化的心態(tài)。

除了少數(shù)例外，我們幾乎總是從個(gè)人偉大的意義上獲得某種程度的滿足感。也就是說，在我們成功了一件事之后，我們感覺很好。當(dāng)我們周圍的人對(duì)我們?nèi)〉玫某删捅硎举澰S和欽佩時(shí)，我們感到振奮。然而，這種自然心理模式的危險(xiǎn)在于我們傾向于在處理消極情緒上花費(fèi)大量時(shí)間。原因很簡(jiǎn)單，因?yàn)橘澝赖臅r(shí)刻本質(zhì)上是罕見的狀態(tài)。

因此，當(dāng)啟動(dòng)一個(gè)項(xiàng)目時(shí)，全力以赴為最后一個(gè)榮耀時(shí)刻打賭，只是一個(gè)快速退出的秘訣。要克服這個(gè)障礙，我們需要一個(gè)堅(jiān)實(shí)的戰(zhàn)略。當(dāng)然，你可以遵循“一切皆為痛苦”的哲學(xué)。所以，你承受得越多，你就越趨向于成功。但是這種方法只能在你的精神崩潰之前，遵從自我的虐待狂本性而工作?；蛘撸憧梢赃x擇流行的逃離方法：找到你真正熱愛的東西，然后把它變成你生活的項(xiàng)目。

但老實(shí)說，這不比一個(gè)小孩的幼稚夢(mèng)想好到哪里去。首先，不是很多人對(duì)自己所熱愛的事物有肯定的把握。很多人，包括我在內(nèi)，在被問及他們的激情時(shí)感到很不自在。其次，對(duì)某事充滿激情并不一定使人有才華。我是一個(gè)很好的例子：在我年輕的時(shí)候，我非常喜歡玩電子游戲，至少10年的時(shí)光，我對(duì)它充滿了激情和癡迷。

諷刺的是：在我玩過的所有游戲里，我的技術(shù)都非常的糟糕。那么，應(yīng)有的沉思是：不要誤拿你的玩游戲的沖動(dòng)去當(dāng)作你的玩游戲的才華。

所以，對(duì)我們中的很多人來說，改善人生的進(jìn)程至少包括兩件事，一是，試著看看，它是否有效，二是，看看我們是否喜歡它。優(yōu)化思維的關(guān)鍵適用于這種情況：在評(píng)估某事是否有效的過程中，如果我們喜歡的話，我們可以經(jīng)歷情緒和動(dòng)機(jī)脆弱的階段，那時(shí)我們很容易喪失信心。

我們應(yīng)該做的很簡(jiǎn)單：專注于我們每天在項(xiàng)目中所做的具體工作，花時(shí)間分析過程，并努力優(yōu)化每一天。這將使我們能夠從當(dāng)前令人失望的現(xiàn)狀中解脫，忘掉不該有的想法，獲得所期望的最終結(jié)果。最重要的是，這一策略使我們能夠?qū)γ恳淮尾欢〞r(shí)的應(yīng)用于我們工作中的小改進(jìn)產(chǎn)生一種滿足感。

總而言之，從統(tǒng)計(jì)學(xué)上說，我們?cè)谏钪兴龅乃行〉膬?yōu)化，都會(huì)在長(zhǎng)期內(nèi)，產(chǎn)生巨大的積極影響，而且通常也會(huì)立即帶來改變。所以，這種心態(tài)，首先是緩解我們?cè)跔?zhēng)取成功的過程中的精神壓力，第二，它會(huì)客觀地使我們?cè)诋?dāng)時(shí)表現(xiàn)得更好。

Key to success with ease

When thinking about success, we tend to focus on hard work, persistence, courage, discipline, etc. All in all, those are admirable character traits, but none of them appear pleasant right away, let’s be honest.

Is there anything or any technique that could turn this painstaking procedure into a more fluid and more enjoyable journey? The answer is of course yes. The first key that helped me to change greatly my attitude, is the mentality of optimization.

With few exception, we almost always draw some level of satisfaction from the sense of personal grandeur. That is to say, we feel good after we have succeeded one deed. We feel boosted when people around us show their approval and admiration to what we’ve achieved. The danger however, for this natural mental pattern is that we tend to spend a lot of time in negative mood. The reason is simple, as glorifying moments are by nature rare in life.

Thus, when launching a project, going all in to bet on the final glorifying moment is just a recipe to fast quit. To overcome this obstacle, we need a solid strategy. You could of course go with the philosophy that all “suffering” is necessary. So, the more you suffer, the more you deserve a success down the road.But this method can only work so much before you reach a total mental break down due to its sadistic nature. Or, you could choose the popular urban escape: find something you are truly passionate about, and then turn it into your life’s project.

But honestly, this one is not so much more than a child’s dream neither. To begin with, not a lot of people who are positively sure about what they are passionate about. Many people, me included, feel quite dry when asked about their passions. Secondly, being passionate about something does NOT necessarily make the person talented for it. Me as an excellent example: I loved so much playing video games during my younger years, it was a passion/obsession for me for at least 10 years.

But the sad thing is, I was absolutely horrible at almost all the games that I played, bummer. Thus, there’s a saying that many of us should meditate over: don’t mistake your impulse to do something for your talent for it.

So for many of us, the journey consists of at least 2 things, try something to see if it works, and at the same time, to see if we like it. The key of the mentality of optimization is applicable for exact this scenario. During the process of evaluating if something works and if we like it, we could go through stages where our mood and motivation are vulnerable, and we are prone to demotivation.

What we should do is simple: focus on the concrete tasks we do every day in our projects, and take our time to analyze the process, and try to optimize it each day. This would enable us to remove our minds from obsessively comparing the final result that we want and the current disappointing status-quo. Most importantly, this strategy enables us to draw a sense of satisfaction over each small improvement we apply to our work every now and then.

In conclusion, statistically speaking, constant small optimizations of all that we do in life will have a huge positive impact in the long run and quite often brings changes immediately as well. So, this mentality is first of all an ease on the mental strain during the process of fighting our way to success. Secondly, it would objectively make us better drastically at what we perform over time.

《情緒管理十二講》

巴黎雷歐 著

原書名：Paris gold Key（巴黎金鑰匙）

Léo Paris 巴黎雷歐 著

Paris2019

內(nèi)容簡(jiǎn)介

這是一本從非常別致的角度解析情緒管理的著作，是從作者的系列心理學(xué)講座中挑選出來的。巴黎雷歐（李由、任由之）的系列心理學(xué)講座，在法國(guó)、美國(guó)青年中頗受歡迎，特試譯為中文版本。

巴黎雷歐著有《跨國(guó)公司內(nèi)部談判效益論析》（法文版）《法國(guó)現(xiàn)代書畫藝術(shù)評(píng)論》（英文版3卷）和《雷歐帶你認(rèn)識(shí)法國(guó)》《雷歐帶你認(rèn)識(shí)巴黎》等書籍。

由于巴黎雷歐現(xiàn)系巴黎遠(yuǎn)東文化藝術(shù)協(xié)會(huì)負(fù)責(zé)人，巴黎遠(yuǎn)東藝術(shù)館、巴黎雷歐珍寶館和多種媒體及版權(quán)交易機(jī)構(gòu)負(fù)責(zé)人，非常繁忙，所以此譯本尚未得巴黎雷歐先生審閱，特此說明。

情緒管理十二講LéoParis –巴黎雷歐 目錄

（中文譯本未經(jīng)巴黎雷歐審閱）

第一講 輕松成功，有秘訣嗎？

第二講 給你的“自律”放個(gè)假

第三講 決策，可能是偽裝的逃避

第四講 成功的關(guān)鍵在于效率

第五講 毒性人格，為何不能正常詮釋

第六講 情感脫節(jié)，一個(gè)危險(xiǎn)的癥狀

第七講 情緒化，恰恰是因?yàn)槿狈Ω行?/p>

第八講 強(qiáng)烈感覺與自我意識(shí)

第九講 治愈厭倦，參與周圍的環(huán)境

第十講 不要讓你喜歡的東西殺死你

第十一講 社交障礙治療——消除隔離

第十二講 樂趣和成功之間的差距

Paris gold Key

巴黎金鑰匙

Léo Paris

Catalog

Catalog

Key to success with ease

Give your poor self-discipline a break

Decision-making, a highly disguised escape

Key to success with efficiency

Toxic personality, why some people are impossible to reason with

Disconnected of one’s emotion, the real symptoms

One is extremely moody because he is NOT emotional

Open mindedness and self-awareness

Cure to boredom, engage the environment around you

DON’T find something that you love and let it kill you

Social accessibility, one major cure for social isolation

The gap between having fun and being successful

著者簡(jiǎn)介

巴黎雷歐（Léo Paris），曾用名李由，任由之，巴黎大學(xué)國(guó)際經(jīng)濟(jì)研究生畢業(yè)，曾任通用電氣公司歐亞總部經(jīng)理及新浪歐洲財(cái)經(jīng)特邀記者，著有《晨曦集》《在成長(zhǎng)》《跨國(guó)公司內(nèi)部談判》（法）《情緒管理十二講》（法）《遠(yuǎn)東文化藝術(shù)》（法）《巴黎雷歐藝術(shù)評(píng)論》（法，3卷）《簡(jiǎn)明國(guó)際商務(wù)》（考研輔導(dǎo)用書）《國(guó)際談判哲學(xué)》（法）《國(guó)際談判實(shí)務(wù)》（華）等。

巴黎雷歐